Drawn to the Number 9

Numbers represent numerology energy. The number 9 energy resonates with humanity and compassion, among other things.

Why there is attraction or yearning is outside the scope of numerology. Although I could speculate. The yearning for the number 9 may have to do with the fact that none of your core numbers are the number 9, nor are any major cycles until the pinnacle cycle that begins at your age 49. But that is just speculation, not traditional numerology.

So long as you have your attention on the number 69, you will see it in your environment when it is there to be seen. It's a simple fact, when you have something on your mind you notice it more readily, and remember seeing it.

I have no idea why you associate 69 with darkness. There is nothing about the numerology energy represented by 69 that indicates darkness — unless your definition of darkness is different than mine.